Friday, December 30, 2016

;)

https://www.astromatcha.com/astrology-compatibility/aries-compatibility/aries-and-taurus-compatibility/


Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Yesterday morning I put in an order for new business cards for myself which I spent many months deliberating over and finally finished designing the day before. There is something about the action of putting yourself on a business card.  You have to distill all the multidimensional aspects about yourself into a slogan, a business title, and your contact information.  Add some color and design, and you have a hope - disguised as a little piece of paper, a hope that when you give it to someone, that they will recognize all your qualifications and talents by the simple few words and colors you arrange on the two by three inch space-- Your hope projected is that with the recognition of whatever is placed on this card, the recipient will contact you, and ask for your services to help them -- to be a better person, or to do something, or create something that brings their dreams closer to their reality.
The business title that was years in the making for me which appears on my new cards is
"Create your Joy."

Here's what I heard, over and over again, in our phone conversation last night.  Your life still does not represent you.  You are getting closer to the life you want.. selling the business is a start.  But you fall back into patterns that have dictated most of the years of your life because that is familiar and you know you can function at a very base level doing those things.  You are on yet another prescription to control your emotions, you smoke to sleep, you use caffeine and other drugs to stay awake.  You drink to alter the emotional state you operate in because any feeling that is different than what you feel each minute of each day is a relief from the hell you are in.  Despite how much you have come in living the life you want, you still allow the person you live with and others who are closest to you to believe things that aren't true.  You are still living in the bubble of a lie.-- the drugs and booze mask who you are emotionally.  The deceptive conversations, convincing others "everything is fine" mask who you are spiritually.  And physically, your body is responding by shutting down... Heart palpitations? skipped beats? Do you see what is really happening here, J?

If you don't change your life soon, you will die.

This is not an assumption on my part, nor an exaggeration.  This is a fact.  and I don't mean dying at 92.. it will be much, much sooner... your body, mind and spirit can not take much more. -- All three are crying out at you to change.

The idea of change can be extremely paralyzing.
I understand every tactic you have employed to this point.  You have started to make positive changes for yourself but within the bubble. But do you see how you are falling back into those patterns that end up keeping you in a life that is destroying you?
Risk is frightening.
You are now at the point where you have to take the biggest risk.
When I said make a plan.. I really mean make a plan from this minute forward.  Risk speaking the truth, not later when everything is a little calmer and when the time is right. The time is never right, and her dependency will be a shackle on you until you decide it isn't.   Risk doing what you need to do to begin living honestly.  Risk demanding time alone.   Space brings clarity.  Risk moving out possibly.  Risk authenticity in all areas - physically, emotionally and spiritually, and with all people, your inlaws, her, your employees.  What do you have to loose?  Your life, J.  -- and I mean that in the most truthful sincerity possible. When I was in the depths of my inauthentic life, i was going to a different doctor every three weeks, taking a variety of chemical medications, and struggling to make it to work for more than four days in a row.  Now, I haven't been to any doctor (aside from my young handsome chiropractor who has wondrously strong hands) in four and a half years and take no medicines whatsoever, and very rarely miss work. You have been in it so long that you don't see it from the outside.  I do, and this really is what it has come to.

"Excuse me, while I kiss the sky..."  do you remember that?  In the fall of 1991, when I was going through some equally confusing shit at college, you told me to not call you.  To not contact you until I could learn that phrase from the Hendrix song.  That was a daunting, but highly instructive task for me- teaching me about confidence and self reliance and that the important thing in life is to be who you are despite what other people think.  Now its your turn.
I want you to kiss the sky... (and...nevermind...)  
Seriously, know I don't say any of this for my own gain at all.
I want to hear you happy and joyous and attacking life with all the emotion and creative power that is in you.  .....and to know now and in the future what the barriers are that are making it impossible for you to do so, and leave them to the side, saying 'Excuse me' -- We all deserve to feel that joy of kissing the sky, my love.  You taught me that.

For the past month or so, I have been engaging in conversations with an elderly artist who lives down the road.  She had spent much of the past decade or more living in China and has spent sporadic times in her life in Maine and New York and other places and is now here full time.  She has so many ideas of what she wants to do with her life, -- even in her mid 70s -- so many ideas that she can't start any of them.  She is, perhaps, my first creativity consultant client, though at this point she isn't paying me because she can just barely live off her social security and father's inheritance.  She is so full of ideas and life, that my role has been a clarifier for her. To help her find the most authentic idea.  To choose the idea that brings her closest and most quickly to her Joy.

This is who I have learned I am.  I value truth, authenticity and honesty above all else.  I value using all the brain power possible to detect the traps of this world holding us back, and explore the possibilities which bring us closer to the purpose we were put on this planet to fulfill.  Deadening and diminishing one's brain just to survive is tragic for me.  I seek to be a resource to help people learn their truth and live in it ultimately.  Anything less is not living.  I know, because I spent 20 years trying to avoid my truth and make an inauthentic life work.  It is possible to do that, many do without dire consequences.  But for others, like me, like you and like this woman I know, living without authenticity is a death sentence.

Live in honesty.  Lies and half truths erode our authenticity making our influence, power, joy and compassion ineffective and small.  I don't want that for you.  You have so much passion and energy and beauty and creativity to share.

Choose your Joy, my dear....right now.




(Sorry, a little much? maybe....but so it is...)